aldispecialbuys:

me: my wife just gave birth
someone from melbourne: I’m from melbourne

whyyoustabbedme:

In this shutdown, lapses in airport security will only get worse 

WE NEED BORDER SECURITY!

also:

LETS STOP PAYING BORDER SECURITY UNTIL WE GET BORDER SECURITY!

bigmammallama5:

we’re gonna have to start eatin hard cheese and cured salted meats again to try to dodge badly inspected food like just go ahead and give me a set of leather armor and send me on a quest if you’re so set on returning us to darker times

thatpettyblackgirl:

no one: 

fish in grocery stores:

thenatsdorf:

Accidentally tasting peppermint. (via ponzuthecat)

memeberd:

alienfrick:

artist btw

eliana55226838:

brutus-red-xiii:

I CAN STOP LAUGHING!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

memecollege:

Again, TikTok is Vine 2

wereralph:

wereralph:

Zero Wig Samus

touyanii:

cyberkillerxx:

youareanexperience:

lickkaballs:

i was filming my kittens and the door creaked and A CAT I’VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE DECIDED TO COME IN MY ROOM

@demeters-daughter

“Oh shit fam my bad. Wrong house.”

“what the fuck, c'est quoi ce chat??” is a great sentence

ghc:

ghc:

guys really live in apartments like this and don’t see any issue

please don’t do me like this there’s girls here 

sovietnam:

mark-helsing:

“Daddy, how did you and mommy meet?”

“Well, you see, young Rarity Applejack…”